About Ellen
Everybody meet Ellen – one of the cast members of ‘Virgin Island’ season 2 which is available to watch on Channel 4.
Before her trip to Virgin Island, Ellen was working in a career where she felt undervalued and underpaid, leaving her questioning both her worth and the direction her life was taking. She had only a small circle of close friends and spent most of her time with her family. Although she loved being part of a choir and attending CrossFit, she often found herself feeling left out when social events happened outside of those groups. Hearing about gatherings she hadn’t been invited to only added to her sense of isolation.
At the end of 2024, Ellen experienced heartbreak when her only serious relationship came to an end after her girlfriend told her she had fallen in love with someone else. It was a devastating experience that left Ellen wondering if she was destined to be alone. With very little relationship experience beyond a kiss or two, her confidence took a significant knock.
While Ellen had always been open with her family and friends about being a lesbian, she still struggled with feeling deeply lonely. She often felt as though she was navigating life entirely on her own. She wasn’t sure what she was searching for, but she knew something was missing. Anxiety became a constant companion, and although she did spend time with others through her hobbies, many weekends were spent alone. Ellen also had a tendency to keep her emotions to herself, quietly carrying the weight of her worries, which only deepened her feelings of loneliness and uncertainty about the future.
Opening up about her sexuality
We asked Ellen “When did you first realise you were attracted to women?” and her response was “I had strong feelings for a female friend a year or so before I came out in 2023, but looking back from about the age of 11 I was attracted to women”.
When asked how difficult it was to accept her sexuality before appearing on the show, Ellen explained that accepting being a lesbian wasn’t something she personally struggled with. Instead, the difficult part was worrying about how other people—especially her family—might react. She admitted she often feared she would be a disappointment to her mum, believing that parents simply want the best for their children.
As she reached her early thirties, Ellen found herself comparing her life to what she thought it should look like. At 32 and 33, she was single, didn’t own her own home and wasn’t in the strongest financial position, which left her feeling as though she wasn’t doing well enough. Alongside those insecurities, she also felt uncertain about how people would respond when she shared her sexuality. While she ultimately found acceptance from those around her, the fear of others’ reactions was one of the biggest challenges she faced in the beginning.
When asked what made her feel ready to open up about being a lesbian on national television, Ellen said it was never something she considered a secret. By that point in her life, it was actually one of the few things she felt truly proud of, and she wanted to be unapologetically open about who she was.
Ellen admitted that taking part in the show required an enormous amount of vulnerability, so speaking openly about her sexuality became one of the least daunting aspects of the experience. She even laughed that, compared to everything else she was putting herself through, talking about being a lesbian barely crossed her mind.
More importantly, Ellen hoped that by sharing her story she could help others. She wanted to represent lesbians in their thirties who might still be struggling to come out or find the confidence to talk openly about their sexuality. If seeing someone like her on national television encouraged even one person to embrace who they are, she felt it was worth it.
Ellen said the support she has received from her friends and family since sharing her story has been overwhelming. Messages poured in from friends, people she knew through her CrossFit gym and even members of her choir. She admitted she was especially touched to receive compliments from choir members who weren’t necessarily in the typical viewing audience for the show.
She was also grateful that every reaction from her family and friends had been positive. Ellen said she hadn’t experienced any negativity and felt incredibly fortunate to have such a supportive network around her as she shared such a personal part of her life.
Another question we asked Ellen was “What would you say to someone who is struggling to come out today?” and her reply was “I would like to say to them it might be easier than they think, it might not be, but those who love you will still love you and those who choose not to be your friend anymore (I did have that) weren’t really your friend to start with. Be yourself, be brave and it will be the best thing you’ll ever do, you’re amazing and never forget that. You’ll find your people, you’ll find your path and the LGBTQ+ community itself is soooooo supportive. Love and solidarity to you”.
About ellen’s experience on the show
Ellen admitted that applying for the show was something she did on a bit of a whim. After watching the first series, she found herself relating deeply to the participants and their experiences. She was surprised to discover that the type of therapy provided by Celeste and Danielle even existed, and said it was a huge relief to realise there was professional support available for people struggling with intimacy.
Until then, Ellen had believed she was alone in her worries and concerns around sex and relationships. Seeing others openly share similar experiences gave her hope for the first time in a long while. Encouraged by the journeys of the participants from the first series, and finding the confidence she did have, Ellen decided to record an application video and take a chance by applying for the show.
Looking back, Ellen said she was naturally nervous about taking part and believed it would have been strange if she hadn’t been. Knowing just how personal the experience would be was daunting, but she also recognised that her reserved nature had, in some ways, worked in her favour. Because she wasn’t used to openly talking about her feelings and didn’t have the confidence to say no when the opportunity arose, she found herself stepping outside of her comfort zone.
At the same time, Ellen knew she was ready for a change. She desperately wanted help to overcome the challenges she faced with intimacy and recognised that she would never have been able to afford this type of therapy on her own. Despite her nerves, she decided to embrace the opportunity, hoping it would give her the chance to move forward with her life.
Reflecting on her time filming the show, Ellen said one of the biggest surprises was just how genuine the experience was. She explained that no one told the participants what to say or how to behave, allowing everything to unfold naturally and authentically.
She was also amazed by how much work goes into making a television programme and praised the production team for the care and support they provided throughout the process. Ellen spoke highly of the team at Double Act, as well as the casting and welfare executives and the show’s psychiatrist, saying they genuinely cared about the wellbeing of every participant and made them feel supported from start to finish.
For Ellen, there wasn’t just one moment that changed her perspective—there were two experiences that had a lasting impact. One of the most significant was a conversation with Shelby, the kink and BDSM therapist, although that session wasn’t shown on television. Ellen described Shelby as an incredibly confident and inspiring woman who had also experienced anxiety. Hearing someone she admired speak so openly about those struggles made Ellen feel truly seen for the first time. She realised she wasn’t alone, and something simply clicked. By the end of the session, she walked away feeling more confident and far less afraid of both herself and the future.
Another life-changing moment came after the exercise where the participants dropped their robes in front of a mirror. Although this scene also wasn’t included in the final programme, it marked a huge personal breakthrough. Ellen decided to remove her bra in front of another participant, Kat, for the first time in her life. Kat’s warm and complimentary reaction completely caught her off guard, but it also helped her see herself in a different light. That boost in confidence gave Ellen the courage to jump into the sea naked without feeling ashamed or embarrassed about her body. It was a freeing experience that allowed her to let go of insecurities she had carried for years and embrace herself with a newfound sense of confidence.
For Ellen, the biggest changes didn’t happen while the cameras were rolling. Instead, it was only after she returned home that she began to realise just how much the experience had transformed her. As the weeks and months passed, she could see a real difference in her confidence, outlook and the way she viewed herself.
Looking back now, Ellen believes the growth happened gradually rather than in one defining moment. It was only with time that she recognised how profoundly the experience had changed her as a person.
Ellen said many of the cast members became incredibly close as they shared such personal and vulnerable experiences together. For her, though, the main reason for taking part was always the therapy rather than being on television. Meeting a group of genuinely lovely people was an unexpected bonus, but her focus remained on making the most of the opportunity to work on herself.
She admitted that the therapy was emotionally intense and required her full attention, which made it difficult to balance the personal work with building close friendships. Being one of the older participants also presented its own challenges, and Ellen felt that made it slightly harder to form the same bonds as some of the younger cast members. She also pointed out that the close friendships she has in her life today have been built over many years, not just a few weeks.
Despite that, Ellen spoke warmly about everyone who took part in the show. She said each cast member had their own unique reasons for being there and expressed how proud she was of every one of them for having the courage to embrace such a life-changing experience.
Losing your Virginity on Television
We mentioned to Ellen and asked “Losing your virginity is something many people experience in private. What made you feel comfortable enough to let yours happen on camera?” and her answer was open and honest. Ellen explained that she felt comfortable enough to let such a deeply personal moment happen on camera because she felt completely safe throughout the experience. Everything took place in a carefully controlled environment where consent, communication and emotional wellbeing were the priority. By the time she became intimate with Kat, they had already spent time getting to know one another, building a genuine connection and developing a clear understanding of each other’s needs and boundaries.
Although there were cameras in the room, Ellen said it never felt as though she was performing for television. After spending several therapy sessions with Kat, the cameras simply faded into the background, allowing the experience to feel private and natural. In the end, she said it felt like it was just the two of them, making it much easier to be present in the moment rather than worrying about being filmed
How the show changed ellen
Taking part in the show had a huge impact on Ellen’s confidence, and she said the difference in herself has been remarkable. She now feels far more comfortable starting conversations with people she knows, something she would never have done before. In the past, she would have waited for others to approach her, but now she feels confident enough to take the first step herself.
Since filming, Ellen has also pushed herself well beyond her comfort zone by joining LGBTQ+ social groups and attending events on her own. Along the way, she has discovered what she describes as her “inner comedian” and has grown far more confident in both her body and her personality.
Looking back, Ellen said she feels incredibly grateful to Danielle, Celeste and all of the therapists who chose to work with her. She credits their support and guidance with helping her become the confident person she is today.
Taking part in the show has completely changed the way Ellen approaches relationships and intimacy. She said she now understands what a real connection feels like—something that is genuine, safe and never forced. Because of that, she feels far more confident about knowing when she’s ready to let someone into her life and share her feelings without the overwhelming anxiety she once experienced.
Ellen also feels much more open and comfortable being herself. She no longer feels the need to hide parts of her personality or make herself smaller to fit in, and for the first time, she genuinely feels ready to put herself out there. She added with a smile that she’s no longer a complete beginner in the bedroom, but more importantly, she now feels confident in who she is and excited about whatever comes next.
Although Ellen admits she still isn’t a fan of dating apps, saying they feel like she’s trying to write an advert for herself, her outlook on dating has changed dramatically since filming ended. She credits that shift to a wonderful woman who asked her out on a date. Although she was nervous, the experience felt easy, genuine and incredibly special.
That date made Ellen realise that dating itself isn’t the problem—it’s simply about finding the right person. For the first time in a long while, she feels excited about where her journey might lead.
Life since the show
Since the series aired, Ellen said life has been a mixture of highs and lows, but overall it has been an incredibly positive experience. She wouldn’t change her time on Virgin Island for the world and remains grateful for everything the show has given her and the person it has helped her become.
Ellen admitted she has been recognised in public several times since the show aired. One of her favourite encounters happened in Soho, London, when a friendly man called Christian recognised her while she was on a date. Rather than making the moment awkward, he was incredibly respectful, and they ended up having a lovely chat together.
Looking back on the encounter, Ellen said she wishes there were more people like Christian in the world. The conversation was so memorable that he even left with a photo of himself, Ellen and her date together on his phone.
We asked Ellen “Would you ever take part in another TV show? And if so, what show would you love to be on?” and her answer did make us giggle! Ellen said “I don’t know if our class is a celebrity, but it would have to be celebrity traitors….. I don’t think I would make a very good traitor though. Or, I’m a celebrity get me out of here…no – alas they might get me eating penis. Forget that”.
A nice Question to Finish
“If viewers could take just one message away from your story, what would you hope it would be?“
Ellen’s response was “It doesn’t matter where you are in life, go at your own speed and the universe will look after you. My Casting and welfare executive Mel, always said to me, comparison is the thief of joy (gosh I miss her, she is an amazing woman). Push yourself outside your comfort zone and be yourself. You are AMAZING!”